Day Twelve of Thirty: Whatever tickles my fancy

This is a little bit of reflection.

Today is April 20th, 2010.

Eleven years ago, on this day, I sat in my high school lunchroom when our principal came over the intercom.

He informed us that schools across the country were being locked down due to a school shooting.

I sat with my friends, not thinking anoything of it at first, in our upper middle class Chicago suburb high school. Sitting in part of the million dollar renovation that they'd just completed. Eating garbage food, and discussing trashy topics.

And then our principal announced that the shooting had taken place at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado.

Most people just shrugged and went back to their meals. Or resumed their discussion of the Marilyn Manson Concert set to take place that night in Chicago. (why I remember that particular detail, I have NO idea)

But not me.

My mother, about 9 months prior had moved to Colorado with my little brother. She'd moved to Littleton.

And then, it hit me. If I'd not moved to live with my dad, and stayed with my mom, MY school would have just been shot up that morning by two of my peers. Possibly killing my friends or teachers. Or me.

I don't believe in God. I believe that there is definitely something larger than me, but I can't believe that there is an "old man in the sky" or whatever other variation of the idea of God people come up with.  Im very spiritual, but not religious in any way. I don't pray. I actually CANT pray. I've tried over the years, but it seems so false. So I don't. I think to myself instead. Maybe that's my way of praying.

But, I had never felt like someTHING intervened in my life more than at that moment of revelation. I could have died. And EVERY year on this anniversary, I feel blessed that the Universe chose to put me in a different situation, and bless me with the opportunity to have a full, hopefully long life. Not one cut short by the inhumanity of two teenage boys.

I am reminded each year to be thankful for all of the ups and downs I've faced over the last 365 days. For I may have never seen them.


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