Movin' On Up...

So, I'm moving to Maryland in 5 weeks. It seems like a combination of "been waiting FOREVER to move" and "holy shit i'm leaving REALLY SOON and have nothing done and way too much to do"

I set up a goodbye dinner thing, that, while in theory i'm totally stoked about, in reality i'm afraid that I will end up disappointed. This has been an ongoing theme in my life.

It started when I was 12. And it has to do with birthdays.

For my 12th bday I wanted to have a HUGE EFFING PARTY, and made up flyers and dished them out to all my awesome 7th grade buds (and basically anyone that walked past me in the hallway) Literally I think i handed out like 150 "invites". Clearly this was going to only be the L33t. Or not.

We lived in the country and had a huge property at the time...I was totally excited and pumped for it the day of. and three people came.

I was wrecked. Granted, the three girls that came were three of my close friends and we had fun anyway, to this day when I see pics from that event I get that same heartbroken feeling all over again. I am clearly not mature.

Anyway, so for my 22nd birthday, when I was dating Kim, I had a thing at my house, and quite a few people actually showed up. It was a mix of my family and friends. And Kim got hammered and proceeded to call me a lying slut in front of everyone, my Grandfather included.

Throwing parties never ceases to stress me the fuck out.

Last year, for my birthday I will say it was one of the BEST birthdays I have ever had. (Minus the alcohol poisoning I gave myself \m/) We set it up at the Hard Rock, and barhopped all night. The only thing that bugged me was that SEVERAL people that said they'd be there, just... didn't show. No reason or anything, just didn't show up. And while it was an awesome night, a part of me turned 12 again.

So now, I'm planning this casual dinner thing and invited all the locals on FB, and i'm trying to remain realistic about it. If they don't come, its cool. But another part of me is still 12, and is like "but i'm MOVING and I won't BE here to hang out with anymore"

I really hope, for once, people do what they say they are going to. If only so I can grow to be 13, eventually.