Fighting with a parent is a lot like having a missing lung, I think. Its not impossible to breathe, it just hurts a lot and you're exhausted all the time and your other lung is doing all the work, it's own, plus the missing lungs' work.
My mother and I are fighting. This happens about once every two to three years with us. We go several weeks not speaking, and then I get fed up with her childishness and call, apologize for something I probably didn't do in the first place, and everything is fine again.
This time, I have decided NOT to call. I refuse to apologize, as I KNOW 100% that I am NOT wrong this time. Im curious to see how long she will hold out though.
I'm moving away to another state 1100 miles away in a little less than three months. My bet is that she WONT make things better before I go (three months is the longest we've ever gone without speaking before, when I moved to my dad's house at 13). This hurts me quite a bit, andyet, doesn't surprise me much.
My father, bless his heart, (he and mom are divorced) has been my missing lung. He's not only dealing with his own crap and life and bullshit, he now has to listen to me whine at least three times a week about my mother being a 14 year old.
I'm not really sure what to do though. The little girl that is still in me hates fighting with my mom and just wants to smooth it over and make it better, but, the adult in me knows that THAT is the reason she is pulling this shit with me now. Because I LET HER GET AWAY WITH IT MY WHOLE LIFE.
Unfortunately, right now, fuck, forever, it's really been more, Im the parent and she's the child. Unless you ask her. Then she's mother Theresa and she has sacrificed more for her family than anyone ever. *eyeroll*
What it boils down to is I think that my mother is acting like a spoiled brat and I'm done feeding into it.
For once, I'd like her to just be an adult. To realize that I AM HER CHILD. Sure, we've been friends my whole life, but sometimes, i just need her to be my mom.
Its hard to make the point known, when i'm being ignored. Maybe my lack of apology will, for once, be understood.
One can only hope.
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