Burnout

I quit. I'm leaving. Sionara. Hasta la Vista, Baby. Ciao. Au revior. Bye.

Then..... two weeks to wait.

It's the proper thing to do right? Give an employer two weeks notice when leaving the company. But, what if the company closes? What if your employer gives YOU two weeks notice?

Still... two weeks to wait.

And hate every single second of it. Seething bitterness. Complete and utter lack of motivation to accomplish anything.

No, really, I don't know what this feels like.

*grumble*

July is the month of extreme awesome and epic fail for me this year. Last year, it was August. But we won't go there.

This month, my family is coming to visit (this is only the second time they've come here in EIGHT years). I'm also taking off for a week for an incredibly awesome vacation with three friends to Costa Rica. I am, incidentally, also losing my job this month. *insert Eeyore eyes here*

I've worked for the same family for pushing 7 years now (with a year+ off in the beginning). When the decision was made to close our doors after just over 7 years in business, I was jerked around a lot. And hard. With no kissing first.

I was told, in essence, that my job would cease to exist at the end of June. I would be getting NO severance. NO insurance (unless I wanted COBRA which would run me $100 more than my car payment each month) PS. I was told this with two weeks notice. I spent the next 6 hours getting completely shitfaced and had to be carried to a friends awaiting couch. Classy move. Trust me. This was a friday.

Then, the following Monday, my boss informed me she could maybe use me into the beginning of July. But still no severance/insurance. With the job market what it is, I informed her i'd have to be allowed time (undocked time thankyouverymuch) to interview for other jobs. Also, what about that week's paid vacay I still have coming to me? Oh. You don't want to pay that either. Well, fuck.

Its gone back and forth still. Three weeks later. Yes, I still have a job, but as recently as last friday was told they were still considering canning me ASAP. Im just waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under me, honestly.

But, Im a survivor. I always find a new job, or a way to make shit work for me. Ive always been that way. My dad calls it my "special talent".

The worst part right now..... the waiting. The complete desire to stab pins in my eyes instead of be here any longer. Its like being in a shitty relationship, but not wanting to be the one to break up with the other person... so you wait for them to man up and do it for you. Gawd. Lamesauce.

Honestly, there are times when I find myself doing things (or, um, NOT doing things) just because I don't give a shit anymore. Im getting nothing. Except a paycheck *hpefully* for the next three weeks. At what point is it just not worth it anymore? If I wasnt waiting to hear back on a SPECIFIC job i interviewed for, I'd just bail and get a job at like Border's or something. But that job, the one i'm waiting to hear about, is so freaking perfect. And I feel good about it. But, they are closed this week for the holiday. (what i wouldnt give to be closed this week for the holiday).

*crosses fingers*
*hides anything sharp and stabby*
*says a teeny prayer to the Universe to please let me NOT kill anyone.... and maybe hook me up with that sweet job, yanno the one that would be perfect.... yeah that one. kthxUniverse. Youre the best.*

xo-
K